DESMOND's BLOG

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“life will be better tommorrow”

分手很痛。但感恩遇見 ♥

Friday, February 3, 2017 || 9:00 AM

三年過後

我因為一個人
開始記載着生活點點滴滴

在很多時候 ,

失去真的是因為上天想讓你遇到更好的, 是嗎?

剛分手的第二天 , 好多人來靠近我

可是讓我印象最深刻的就是你, JOSEPH WONG.

在02月02日 ,

下午2.49PM 的時候突然收到一個微信朋友請求

起初我們也是很普通簡簡單單的聊天

只是帶著朋友普通的心情彼此這樣聊天

那時突然聊聊就聊到前任

你也告訴了我好多他的事

那時真的很想告訴你, 他也是我的前任

可是我害怕, 我不敢說, 可是最後你還是知道了

真的很對不起, 那時不是故意不告訴你

當時一直逗著你, 欺負你, 鬧著你,

最後你卻對我開始有點動心

在02月03日 ,

你突然告訴了我

對不起 , 因為那時的我剛分手, 比較難被可靠

對不起 , 因為那時太於冷漠, 因為那幾天還在煩著感情事

說真的, 這一切都不是拒絕你

那時剛分手 , 也想好好療傷

因為那時他突然一直回來哭求我

突然跑到我家來, 撥電話哭著求我

那時真的覺得感情真的真的好煩

剛開始他先說分手, 可是最後卻要回我

造成了傷口最後還是有留下疤痕的

謝謝你 , 在傷心時還有個陪伴

聖誕夜晚 ♥

Wednesday, December 25, 2013 || 5:51 PM

唉, 聖誕節就這樣過了..

感覺好像就一轉眼這樣..

今年好可惜的就是沒看到聖誕樹.. ><

可是今年聖誕節過得很不一樣哦..

第一次和一大幫的朋友一起過聖誕節,

一起倒數聖誕節, 一起交換禮物, 一起看鬼片,

其實這樣簡簡單單真的很開心!!!

好久沒有交換禮物了, 那種心情很爽~

雖然不是什麼貴重了禮, 可是開心比什麼還重要..

是真的那天看完鬼片晚上睡覺發冷汗 ><

第一次感覺好怕,

好怕櫥櫃有東西怕出來,

好怕床底有東西 ><""

朋友們, 謝謝你們!! 真的很開心, 希望你們也是..

也希望大家的聖誕願望也會實現

那天依舊的我也對著上天許願!! 希望都可以實現..

想起以前的聖誕節都是跟家人一起過,

一起到國外旅行的感覺真好,

沒關係, 等讀完書後一定有機會..

存了錢到孩子們帶父母出國旅行!!! ^^

那天打了電話給爸媽, 哥哥還是阿姨,

感覺好好, 他們都有開心的慶祝!!!

大哥和爸媽去吃飯過節,

阿姨們跟朋友一起在外慶祝,

二哥在學校趕project和考試,

我就跟學校朋友們一起慶祝,

但我希望大家都開心就滿足了

現在就來倒數2014吧!!! 還剩5天!!

♥ 2013/12/26

♥

成長♥

Sunday, December 22, 2013 || 3:23 AM

冬至不快樂.... 大節日流眼淚..

媽媽告訴我無論怎麼不開心

她的肩膀永遠都會給我依靠

因為我始終是她的孩子, 她要我開心

今天對不起了我的朋友們

他們的兩次的玩笑真的使我極度奔潰

真的讓我想起好多好多事情

想起小學中學的那時被嘲笑的感覺

真的很難受心中的刺感覺又回來了

就兩個測試周圍的人一直大笑

起初還不知發生什麼事為何我只是做一個動作

全部人在那裡一直一直大笑

接下來再來一個測試動作也一直被笑

那種感覺就像以前十多歲時被全部人嘲笑的感覺

最後結論就是我每個測試動作都是女生會做的動作

心緒有點奔潰的時候結果又被一個朋友拒絕了

那時的心就真的想離開現場讓自己冷靜冷靜

雖然知道朋友不是故意的可是當時的我就想起以前的畫面

以前的我很肥, 然後屁股真的很大, 腰圍34

然後體制矮矮的, 手指細細的, 就被人講成胖妞, 大屁股, 矮冬瓜, 不男不女

每天都有新名字, 真的比我爸媽還貼心

還被女性朋友說, 沒有一個女生會喜歡你的

每個女生只會一直把你當成好朋友

那時的我.. 真的覺得自己有那麼醜嗎

覺得自己真的那麼被人那麼歧視嗎

許多的嘲笑, 諷刺, 破壞, 什麼都承受過了

我慢慢真的對自己很沒有信心

慢慢開始對自己很負面, 我就是覺得自己醜

無論人說我好看我都會覺得這是一個謊言

對於愛情, 說去喜歡是不可能吧, 我真的對自己沒有信心

到最後也麻木了覺得肥就肥沒人喜歡就沒人喜歡

直到有一天, 我真的喜歡上上面班的一個女孩

我們一直都用信來溝通, 直到有一天我告訴她我喜歡她

結果最後被殘忍對待, 她對我說

你那麼肥, 為什麼還敢學人出來找女朋友

你那麼醜, 也不會好好照照鏡子

你又那麼矮, 等你180了再來追我把

那時的我極度受傷, 下定決心要減肥

覺得人生被人看不起沒關係只要自己不要看不起自己

所以慢慢決定開始改變自己

我真的只希望以前的事不要再重來

我或許天生出來就很愛與人開玩笑

我或許天生出來跟熟的朋友不顧面子

我只希望大家開開心心真的不要顧別人怎麼去想

因為我身邊大多數的朋友的都是女性朋友

常常不是被男性朋友們討厭

不然就是被其他朋友們說我不男不女

我愛乾淨愛下廚愛整齊, 這也算不男不女嗎

這就是我爸媽教我的, 難道我爸爸也不男不女嗎

像媽媽說的, 不管別人怎麼說不要去在乎

我已經一直都不去在乎, 我哭不是我懦弱

我哭是因為自己真的很難受, 腦子很多畫面, 自己的自尊感覺受傷了

每次一難過我就會想起家人, 就想聽聽他們的聲音

然後自己放聲大哭, 讓自己的心緒軟化.. 很多東西真的哭過就好了

或許許多事情說出來不是每個人可以去明白

只要有人體會過一定真的會明白那種感受

人的心是肉做成的裡面有血, 一割是會受傷的

不管有多堅強的一天, 隔爛了始終會奔潰

但是一旦爛了自己也要補回去, 告訴自己要堅強

補得越多, 傷得越多, 就會活得更堅強..

就跟大家分享以前的那個我吧..

真的很肥, 肥到全身上下都腫腫的.

♥ 2013/12/22

♥

珍惜♥

Saturday, December 21, 2013 || 7:35 AM

明天就冬至節了, 大後天就聖誕節了,

還有十天就倒數2014年的到來了..

說時間慢也沒很慢, 說快也沒很快..

只能說每時每刻有好好把握住時間

好好利用時間, 一年一年這樣過也不算白費

人生就是要活得開心過得精彩..

想起以前聖誕節都是與家人讀過出國旅行,

直到哥哥出門讀書了, 我也出門讀書了,

以前那些家庭旅行就沒了.. 因為每個人的假期都不同

想了想, 我其實真的很幸福, 很多國家也去過了..

等畢業了好好賺錢到我帶爸媽出國旅行了!!

知道爸爸很愛去澳洲, 我一定要很努力才行..

隨著年紀越來越大, 覺得自己真的更愛家人

慢慢覺得以前的我告訴爸媽我好想出門讀書不想回來

現在就覺得那真的是以前的那種叛逆的性格

有時沒事都會想想爸媽們, 希望他們都健健康康開開心心

在醫院實習還剩兩天過後考試就要回去吉隆坡了

雖然有點不捨, 或許感覺自己已經習慣一直到醫院看看那些需要幫助的人

在實習中看到到處都是疾病, 看到許多病人跟病魔抵抗

有的很難受, 有的已絕望, 有的一直喊救命, 有的一直喊痛, 有的很冷靜

有時看到他們很想幫忙可是有心無力

看到他們很努力的告訴自己要堅持活下去的心

雖然有些病人的病情很嚴重了, 可是我都會告訴他們一切會沒事的不要亂想

如果活在這個世上沒有疾病有多好, 可是這是不可能的

或許這就是人生, 沒分每秒都要懂得感恩

想起有一個阿媽一直叫我救她因為她雙腳不能再走路了

我就一直告訴她有一天一定會好的, 我真的希望她會好起來

每次下午吃飯時間, 我都會去看看她, 真的希望她都可以開開心心過每一天

她看到我時真的很開心就會一直跟我說謝謝

有時陪伴能讓別人開心, 我會願意花自己的時間, 因為我明白他們的心情

還有一個阿爸告訴我, 每個人都怕死, 只要一死什麼都變零

還有一個中了絕症等死的病人告訴我, 他很後悔可是來不及了

他說他再也不能照顧他爸爸媽媽了, 只能靠弟弟了..

我聽了真的很欣慰, 覺得人生真的好短..

每天都有很進院也有人死亡.. 生老病死, 這就是人生嗎?

想到那些為情自殺的那些人,

他們有想過那些在醫院堅強想要活下去的人嗎

他們有想過最傷心的不是他愛的那個人而是最愛他的家人!!

昨天護士長帶我去婦產科看那些美麗的媽媽生他們的天使

看到那些媽媽們很難受的躺著因為子宮一定要裂到10cm才能生

所以他們就要躺在病床上難受了很多個小時

然後看到醫生幫他們縫子宮, 拿出胎盤真的覺得每個媽媽真的很偉大

媽媽, 我真的很愛你, 謝謝你也那麼愛我

小的時候對媽媽叛逆, 現在長大了看多了覺得好對不起媽媽

不管爸媽怎麼對我, 我都覺得他們都是為了我們好不要再叛逆不要再脾氣了

還有39天就要回去跟家人們一起過華人新年,

我真的好期待, 好想抱抱爸爸媽媽, 再說一次"我愛你"

每天都要告訴自己, 我要更愛我的家人!!!!

♥ 2013/12/21

♥

感觸♥

Saturday, December 7, 2013 || 11:29 PM

不知不覺我一年多沒來寫部落格了

現在也12月了, 2014年很快也將來臨了

今年讀者第三年的牙科系了, 時間真的過得很快

想起第一天到現在, 兩年了也回那麼四次

大多數也都呆在吉隆坡, 短假期就一個人在宿舍過

不然就自己出門跑跑, 如果哥哥有下來就有個伴

之前還有一個好朋友的陪伴, 現在她也到台灣升學了

今天感觸不懂為何好深, 腦海裡浮現好多好多東西

除了羨慕, 或許還是羨慕..

偶爾真的好羨慕別人可以常常回家

偶爾真的好羨慕別人想回家就可以回家

偶爾真的好羨慕別人父母都可以一直陪伴着他們

爸媽都有想我要我回家

可是因為要省家裡的開銷, 我選擇不要回去

一回去只是一個星期就要花300+飛機票來回..

但是每次一回去就好開心, 雖然有時真的回去了也蠻悶的

可是就覺得有父母在一起的陪伴就蠻滿足的

那次在我回來之前, 人生第一次親口跟爸媽說我愛你

那次在我回來之前, 我也親口問爸媽阿姨, 我可以抱你嗎

當我說出口時, 真的感覺好滿足好開心因為我做到了

我要更愛我家人, 想到自己偶爾愛發脾氣就好痛恨自己

之前好愛他們都放在心裡, 直到媽媽說你沒說出來

他們永遠是不知道的, 也對! 我說出來了!

現在的我就在安順醫院實習

這個星期的五六日真的完全沒有人

因為他們全部都回去了, 除了一個很好的女生朋友和我

這幾天都跟他一起吃午餐晚餐, 真的很謝謝她!!

如果她也回去了真的只剩我一個人住在最高一層的公寓

其實真的蠻可怕的可是沒辦法這就是人生要慢慢習慣

人或許活著也不要太依賴, 父母也會離開的一天

到了那天什麼東西都要自己打理

其實一個人就越獨立, 學會怎麼照顧自己

學會弄東西吃, 學會什麼東西都自己來

一個人時, 開著音樂讓自己不會那麼怕

音樂真的是很好的陪伴!!!

聖誕節將來臨了也不懂會是怎樣的

或許就是普普通通吧..

開心也是一天不開心也是一天,

我要開開心心的過每一天!!

賴東漢, 加油!! BE STRONG!! ^^

*2013年八月十二日*

Old had pasted, New had came.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013 || 4:20 AM

As time goes, I had about 3 months din't updated my blog.
Due to several reasons : (a) Too busy (b) Keep out-going (c) Forgetful (d) Lazy
Therefore, now i would updated the past 3 months with long description, heehee *

Gala Dinner

Thinking back what I had done for the past 3 months. The memorable, happiness events which I could re-call back was the Gala Dinner in 24,October 2012. This Gala Dinner was special for the Medical Senior which congratulate them for successfully passing their 1st professional exam. And why it was special for me too? This was because i'm the executive of secretory of Dental Society, and as a member of society, I need to help up for the event to done successfully. I had enjoyed the night with all of my beloved coursemate. I had being impressed by the Top-student of the Medical Senior and she had became my role model. Day after tomorrow I keep asking myself "WHY" thousand times. Thus, I promised to work hard so I won't feel regret in the end.

Malacca Trip

Another important one is the Malacca trip with my beloved classmate, Alex, De-Ming, Mei-Senn and Chea Yin. The most memorable scene which all of us can't forget was the bird-shit lucky number to Mei-Senn. During the time she left from the car, the bird's feces had dropped on her hair, shirt and pants. After that, we had enjoyed on the Jonker street by keep eating, joking, laughing! Later, we had met Michelle, our classmate for late-surprised of her birthday. We also had a visit to her house and took satay celuk as our dinner.

Klang's Trip

This trip on 17, November2012 especially need to congratulate En Teng's brother pre-wedding dinner ceremony at her house, Banting. This trip was the most special and memorable trip because there was more than 10 of us joined this trip by using one car and my brother was joining too. Before attending the dinner, we had free starbucks and shopping at TimeSquare while waiting my brother from Pahang. After that, we went to Kenanga-Wholesales for shopping. This was the first time visiting, the clothes was quite cheap but low quality. We had bought some new clothes for CNY. Later, we heading to Klang! While reaching Klang, we took our lunch at one of the Chinese Bak Kuk Teh restaurant. Oppps! I ate a lot there, because it's DELICIOUS! After lunch, we were heading to the AEON biggest shopping center in Klang. Around 6pm, we were finally on the way heading to En Teng's house for the dinner.

December 2012

In December 2012, there was more grief moment than cheerfulness that really keep deep into my heart.
The memorable and happy moment was the birthday celebration of my classmate, Tee Hwai, Mei Ling and Mei-Senn. Happy birthday to all of you :). Besides that, I also had memorable fun moment with my classmate, Travis, Lemuel, Janice and En Teng. We had went to SingK on afternoon and WuCha on night.

End of December 2012, I had enjoyed my day with Joanna and her family around KL area as well as my parent around KL area and Genting Highlands.

One of the grief moment was the sickness keep attacking me, which resulted in fever, cough, cold and mouth ulcer. This cause me suffered a lot by keep attending to medicine. Besides that, the most unforgettable tragedy was “rob”. The tragedy was around 12am on the way back home with my roomate. During the way back home, there was two motorcycle with three person suddenly stop behind the roadside and a guy came down from the motorcycle chasing me with his knife. While we were running, I suddenly fall down with large friction towards my knee, shoulder, waist , elbow and my head was knock on the cement too. After that, the robber was turned backwards to my roomate by pointing the knife towards her for the bag he aimed. Luckily, got a GOD bless lorry passby and stop when they heard I'm non-stopped roaring. Finally, the robber ran away without took any of our belongings. Thank GOD!.

Movie

Last but not least, I also enjoyed some movie on the following three months.
The movie I really like the most was "The Life of Pi". A young man who survives a disaster at sea is hurtled into an epic journey of adventure and discovery which another survivor, a fearsome Bengal tiger. This movie educated us about religion. What is really religion about? The words I agreed was all the religion was thought us to be good, responsible and caring person. Besides that, although some animal consider as mammals like human, however you treated them like your very loved one, but they still remained cold-blooded by their own perception and needs.

Director : Ang Lee

Cast :
Suraj Sharma
Irrfan Khan
Adil Hussain

Opening date : 21, November 2012

Secondly, the action movie which make me nervousness was "Taken 2". This movie really caused me "Tachycardia" on the moment he went to safe his wife and daughter.

Director : Olivier Megaton

Cast :
Maggie Grace
Liam Neeson
Rade Sherbedgia
Famke Janssen
Luke Grimes
Leland Orser

Opening date : 5, October 2012

Besides that, the horror movie I feel good was "Sinister" rather than "Silent Hill Revelations". As Sinister has more horror scene which shocked me a lot, while Silent Hill Revelations was quite boring until the end of the story.

Director : Scott Derrickson

Cast :
Ethan Hawke
Juliet Rylance
James Ransone

Opening date : 12, October 2012

The beginning of the Sinister was the father of the family, he mysteriously found a old box of films in an attic and he started to play them. There were 4 different families in different films which showed how they were being killed with one of the child was missing from each family. One child of each family which influenced the daughter of the family to kill off her family members too. For Silent Hill Revelations, the beginning of the scene is the end of the story as the daughter of the family had being rescued and burned on the circus. I felt really bored about the whole movie seriously! :-/

Director : Bill Condon

Cast :

Robert Pattinson
Taylor Lautner
Kisten Stewart
Peter Facinelli
Billy Burke
Kellan Lutz

Opening date : 16,November 2012

The movie I had waited for long period of time which was "The Twilight Sage : Breaking Dawn Part 2". As Bella had turned into Vampire and she had pregnant, a baby girl had borned. The whole story was about the Edward's family was tried to rescue their daughter, Renesmee from being killed by Volturi, the fearsome council of vampire leaders. The reason was Renesmee, a child of half human and vampire blood which could not be allowed by the rules of council. In the end, Renesmee was rescued because Volturi had sensed the end of the battle from Alice.

Lastly, i would like to welcome 2013 and said goodbye to 2012 :)
Wish everything going to be fine and lucky in 2013.
Family, Cousin and Friends of mine being always healthy and fine.

from Desmond.

HELLO 2013!!

Crazy Day with Buddies ♥

Sunday, September 9, 2012 || 2:26 AM

31 of August 2012